Question:How Do You Deal With Emotional Abuse?

･ 1 Understand that emotional abuse is rooted on one person trying to have power and control over another... ･ 2 Know what constitutes emotional abuse. Often the abuser will refuse to acknowledge the other's value... ･ 3 Recognize that emot...

One way is to look at the abuse as an emergency. In that case, you remove yourself from the situation so that you are safe, and then you get help. If the abuse has been ongoing for some time, then the best thing is to get a team (good frien...

･ Realize that you cannot change your partner, only your reaction to him or her. You can attempt to show... ･ Set new, reasonable terms for the relationship with clear and consistently implemented consequences.... ･ Set boundaries. Abuse, i...

How do you deal with emotional and verbal abuse?

Q: It's becoming a big problem in my life and I just don't know how much more I can handle. How do YOU personally deal with abuse like this?

A: I don't know if this is in reference to a family member or a relationship but I just got out of an abusive relationship about one month ago... and while I am still in the healing process it was the best decision I made. You can't deal with abuse if you don't detach yourself from the abuser. Although the first step is admitting something is wrong, the second step in healing would be to detach yourself.Also, if you are in an abusive relationship, leave the person and then put a hiatus on dating until you have figured it out so that you don't repeat the same destructive dating cycle.May I suggest checking out: womansavers.com It has been a great support network. It operates like YA Q&A but solely on the topic of abuse, infidelity, etc. and so you won't experience jerkish responses from anyone.Below is a list of emotional/verbal/mental abusive characteristics... if you find yourself saying "that happens/happened to me!" seek out a support group. Seek out anything to become a healthier person. You deserve it!Jealousy: At the beginning of a relationship, an abuser will always say that jealousy is a sign of love; jealousy has nothing to do with love, it is a sign of possessiveness and lack of trust.Controlling Behavior: At first, they will say that this behavior is because he is concerned with your safety, your need to use your time well, or you need to make good decisions. He will be angry if you are late coming back from an appointment or a class, he will question you closely about where you went and whom you talked to.As this behavior gets worse, he may not let you make personal decisions about your clothing, hair style, appearance.Quick Involvement: Many people in abusive relationships dated or knew their abusive partners for less than six months before they were married, engaged or living together. He comes on like a whirlwind, claiming, "You are the only person I could ever talk to" or "I‘ve never felt like this with anyone before".He will pressure you to commit to the relationship in such a way that you may later feel guilty or that you are "letting him down" if you want to slow down involvement or break up.Unrealistic Expectations: Abusive people will expect their partner to meet all their needs; he expects you to be the perfect girlfriend, the perfect wife, the perfect friend or the perfect lover. He will say things like, "If you love me, I‘m all you need and you are all I need." You are supposed to take care of all of his emotional needs.Isolation: The abusive person will try to cut you off from all resources. He accuses you of being "tied to your mother‘s apron strings," or your friends of "trying to cause trouble" between you. If you have a friend of the opposite sex, you are "going out on him " and if you have friends of the same sex, he may accuse you of being gay.Blames Others for Problems: He is chronically unemployed, someone is always waiting for him to do wrong or mess up or someone is always out to get him. He may make mistakes and blame you for upsetting him. He will tell you that you are at fault for almost anything that goes wrong.Blames Others for Feelings: He will tell you, "You make me mad," "You are hurting me by not doing what I want you to do," or "I can‘t help being angry." He really makes the decisions about how he thinks or feels, but will use feelings to manipulate you.Hypersensitivity: An abusive person is easily insulted, and claims that their feelings are hurt when really he is very mad. He often takes the slightest setbacks as personal attacks. He will rant about things that are really just part of living like being asked to work overtime, getting a traffic ticket, being asked to help others with chores.Verbal Abuse: In addition to saying things that are meant to be cruel and hurtful, this can be seen when the abusive person tries to degrade you, curses you, calls you names or makes fun of your accomplishments. The abusive person will tell you that you are stupid and unable to function without him. This may involve waking you up to verbally abuse you or not letting you go to sleep until you talk out an argument.Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde: Many people are confused by their abusive partner‘s "sudden" changes in mood -- you may think he has a mental problem because he is nice one minute and the next minute he is exploding. Explosiveness and moodiness are typical of people who are abusive to their partners, and these behaviors are related to other characteristics like hypersensitivity.Past Battering: This person may say that he has hit girlfriends or wives in the past but the other person "made him do it."Threats of violence: This could include any threat of physical force meant to control you: "I‘ll slap you," "I‘ll kill you," or "I‘ll break your neck." Most people do not threaten their partners, but the abusive person will try to excuse her threats by saying, "Everybody talks that way."